Left-handed glory, crappy idols, and the Burning of the Word

(Editorial note: all references to poo in this article have been stolen from Mike Reeves. All credit to him for his extensive research on the matter.)

Today's post is just some (slightly rushed) story-telling. I shall try to make it worth your while. I suppose it's a story remix.

Two stories

One rarely hears of 'Left-handed Leo Da vinci', 'Julius Caesar the left-handed' or 'Barack Obama the left-wing leftie'. This is because it's a fairly incidental point to make about someone - a lot of people are left-handed.

But, in Judges 3, that's pretty much the only thing we're told about our hero:

Ehud, a left-handed man, was a judge in Israel.
The people had been subject to the rule of Eglon, the fat Moabite king for eighteen years, and he had filled their land with idols.
For those eighteen years, the Israelites wept while Eglon grew fat off their land, yet still they persisted in disobedience and idolatry.
When the Israelites finally turned to God for help, He sent them Ehud who went to the king, claiming to have a word from God. The king's servants left him, and Ehud, with his left hand, reached into his robe and pulled out a 'two-edged sword' and stabbed the king.
The Bible tells us that the sword went deep into the king's belly, the fat closed over the hilt and "the excrement came out."

Apologies.
But it does say that.

Then he ran back past the idols, gathered the Israelite army and marched them to victory.

So, why mention that Ehud was left-handed? Surely this is an inconsequential fact? (If anything it was an advantage - these guys wrote right to left - no smudging!!)

Well, the only thing more frustrating than a man who answers his own questions is a man who answers questions with a story...:

According to Livy's legend, in 508bc Gaius Mucius was a young Roman soldier during the Etruscan siege of Rome. The senate, desiring to end the siege quickly, sent him out in the dead of night to assassinate Porsena, the king of the Etruscan city of Clusium. 

Alas, despite successfully finding the king's tent unhindered, he killed the king's secretary who was close by and in similar clothes. 

Immediately he was captured and the king demanded he be burned alive at the altar unless he betray Rome's battle plans.

At this, Mucius said: "[This is so] that you may see how cheap they hold their bodies whose eyes are fixed upon great glory."

With that he thrust his right hand into the flame and watched the flesh burn off.

The king was so impressed by this act of defiant loyalty that he freed him.

He was known from then on as Gaius Mucius Scaevola. Scaevola means 'left-handed'.

Name-calling

The reason Ehud is described as left-handed is that he was crippled. As with Gaius Mucius, calling someone left-handed, historically is not a comment about how they play tennis or why they might appear to be slightly more artistic, or why the nuns at their school didn't like them... it just means that they do not have a functioning right-hand.

So this was why Ehud was called 'left-handed'. An innuendo, I suppose, for 'definitely not right-handed'.

Maybe a bit harsh, but the Israelites really had a thing for name calling. At the beginning of this chapter, they refer to king 'Cushan-rishathaim' which means 'Cushan...of double wickedness'. 

They wanted history to remember him as he was, so they wrote it into his name.

They do the same with idols and foreign gods: 

In 1 Kings, Chemosh and Molek are both described as the 'dung' of the Moabites.

(our bibles have politely been translated as 'detestable' instead of 'dung')

In 2 Kings, Jehu destroys the temple of Baal and turns the site into a loo

("...and made it a latrine to this day.")

Baal's name (which simply means 'Lord' is extended to Baal Zebub (Beelzebub), which means 'Lord of the flies' - no prizes for guessing what that meant.

Words will never hurt me

King Eglon had filled the land of Israel with these 'detestable' idols, and it certainly seemed as though the Israelites were worshiping them.
And detestable is the word - Molek, for instance, was a god who demanded child-sacrifices.

Ehud went forth into this, armed with the double-edged sword which he described to Eglon as 'a message (literally translated: a 'word') of God'.

He stabbed the king and all the dung came out. The double edged sword cut away the idols from the land of Israel.

And, while we consider how deliberately strange descriptions are used - this is how the writer of Hebrews describes the Scriptures:

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

Sticks and Stones

It is no surprise then, that this powerful Word has been sought to be stopped many times in history.
William Tyndale, (a pupil at my alma mater), translated the Bible into English when it was illegal to do so, as it weakened the hold the Catholic church had over the people.
Many who supported the publication of the English Bible were killed.

Anyone found with a copy of Tyndale's Bible was burned along with the book.

There are many martyrs dotted throughout history, crucified, stoned, and burned at the stake.
Today is the anniversary of the martyrdom of Cranmer, a left-handed man, who was burned at the stake on the 21st March 1556, twenty years after Tyndale's death.

He should have been burned months earlier with Latimer and Ridley, but had recanted his faith and submitted to the pope, declaring that only through the Catholic Church could one be saved, signing numerous documents to this effect. He was right-handed, so signed with his right hand.

Despite this, Queen Mary decided to make an example of him and rescheduled his execution. He was allowed, being penitent of his Protestantism, to preach one last time.
But the sermon he preached begged forgiveness from God for being so weak as to deny him. He said that his right hand would burn first, that which had signed away his faith in the Word.

He was dragged from the pulpit to the pyre and burned. 

He shouted out: "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. I see the heavens open and Jesus standing at the right hand of God."

Then, true to his word, he thrust his hand into the flames and watched it wither away.

Thus, all idolatry and cowardice cut away by the Word, he died a left-handed man.

That's the end of my story remix. I told you so that you may know how cheap they hold their bodies whose eyes are fixed on God's glory.

Responding to Depression - Eliphaz, Bildad and other Evangelicals

I'm not being fussy...

I should be up front from the off - I have been accused in the past, probably rightly, of being overly persnickety about the songs we sing. I'm the slightly tedious person who thinks people should be taught what is meant by 'Ebenezer' before they avow to raise theirs.

That's by the by. What I'm saying is that this objection is different. If you disagree with the pedantic zealots who want to over analyse to the nth degree, then this article is still for you.
The lyrics I want to focus on, from the song 'Trust and Obey' aren't just objectionable - they're a severe lie that oppresses the most vulnerable people in our congregations:

"Not a doubt nor a fear, not a sigh nor a tear

Can abide while we trust and obey"

It sounds so beautiful, doesn't it? It's like Revelation 21...except sooner!
I sigh and weep daily - and now there's an answer - a solution before Christ returns!: I need to obey more. I need to trust more.

Oh the sweet bliss of an impossible imperative placed over the tragic disposition of depression!

I don't feel I need particularly to labour the point: It's a fairly obvious lie, once pointed out. Aside from Jesus's tears and sighs in Gethsemene during the ultimate act of obedience, and aside from the disciples pharisaic question, "Who sinned, this man or his parents?" ; we know that suffering comes upon the righteous while the wicked prosper.

Crushing the weak

I know and have known many brothers and sisters who suffer from depression, who are too ashamed to admit it to other Christians let alone their church leaders.
It is, in our minds, an 'unchristian' illness - a sign of weak faith.

Having beef with precious old hymns like 'Trust and Obey" may seem like pedantry, but it contains an attitude that must be mortified within the Church.

Bildad says to repent and be cured.
Eliphaz says he brings it upon himself.
Zophar says it should be worse.

Maybe you, like me, have heard sermons like this:

"Now, when we are told to take 'joy' in our sufferings, it doesn't mean that we should be happy when we suffer (*Christian chuckle*). It means that underlying our sadness and suffering should be a happiness in the gospel."

Now that; that is a profound description of how the depressed man experiences despair.

I can be with my the people I love most in the world, drinking a pint in a sunny beer garden, surrounded by beautiful St Andrews... yet underlying that happiness is a dark despondency.

What irony it is that the most conservative amongst us have the tendency to point us to a 'base emotion'!
Fear not, Rowling has the actual answer.

Escaping Azkaban

"They don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought."

This is J.K. Rowling's description of the wizard prison, Azkaban, in her third installment in the Harry Potter series. It could not be a more perfect analogy for depression:
The guards, dementors, as they're called, feasted upon happiness, crippling their prisoners.

One person, though, escaped from this prison of thought.
Sirrius Black explained how he escaped - "I knew I was innocent... that wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me... but it kept me sane and knowing who I am."

Where happiness could not be found, clinging to a Truth gave sanity...and even hope.

Our trials do not ebb and flow, (praise God!), along with our trust and obedience.
Our hope comes not from our own thoughts or actions, but the Truths, contained in the Word, which the Spirit whispers and shouts to our souls. Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness (how much less indeed is my trust and obedience!)

Now raise your Ebenezer!

Two years ago, I was sent a copy of  John Piper's 'When the Darkness will not lift'. The note inside read:

"At my darkest moments...this book pointed me to truths that I couldn't even see.
For when we feel lost in darkness, the truth is, we're never alone... and we're never lost."
When you have no hope - look to Truth!

And now let me tell you what it means to raise your Ebenezer:

In 1Samuel 7, the Israelites, having forsaken their idols, are fighting against mighty Philistine armies. They sacrifice in obedience to God, and "the LORD thundered with a mighty sound against the Philistines and threw them into confusion."

Then Samuel takes a stone and 'set[s] it up' and calls it 'Ebenezer', which means 'stone of help'. 

He explains the name: "Til now the Lord has helped us."

So, if you are depressed - raise your Ebenezer - 'til now He has helped you. 2000 years ago he was pierced, crushed and hung on a cross - in love for you.

And He says to His people "Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you."

There is your Truth. It is a greater gift than any happiness I could possibly offer.

And of course, I am not saying that there is no happiness to be found in looking to the cross. It is a fountain of delight. But when drought dries up all happiness from our thoughts, the dry fountain remains a beautiful statue albeit pierced with inexplicable holes.

It will spout again. One day there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain. You will smile again. Until then, the dying Saviour says 'I love you', and the risen Saviour says 'Hope in me.'

Til now, the Lord has helped us.

Tolkien's Talking: Theology of Glory vs Theology of the Cross

A short post - but not a 'filler'. [EDIT: It was short at some point!] I haven't blogged for a while, mostly because I've been busy turning my life upside down. This post is in some degree inevitably introspective, but I hope it is not indulgent. 

I read rather a lot of theology (to the point of indulgence) - but every now and again some of it breaks through and actually serves to change how I live: Martin Luther dichotomised two theologies - the theology of glory and the theology of the cross. 

Theology of Glory

Forde explains that a theology of  glory assumes "that what we need is optimistic encouragement, some flattery, some positive thinking, [and] some support to build our self-esteem."

A theology of glory, when looking at going into ministry, will look at gifting and appearance - will affirm, as it were, the incidentals of who we are. A theology of glory will allow a 'calling' or 'gifting' (not to equate the two!) to supercede any defects in character or lack of maturity - to go forward immediately, armed with gifts, and try to achieve for the kingdom.

This theology believes that God's workers must be strong and self-confident. That we should show God's power through our own.

Luther says that the theologian of glory "does not know God hidden in suffering. Therefore he prefers works to suffering, glory to the cross, strength to weakness, [and] wisdom to folly"

If you allow this not to be trite, it won't be: Gandalf explains these theologies:

Theology of the Cross

This is how Luther describes 'Cross theology': "Through the cross, works are dethroned and the 'old Adam', who is especially edified by works, is crucified. It is impossible for a person not to be puffed up by his 'good works' unless he has first been deflated and destroyed by suffering and evil until he knows that he is worthless and that his works are not his but God's."

The theology of the cross is foolishness to the world. It says that humility and humiliation come before glory.

The theology of the cross remembers two things plainly - one: that we bring nothing. We are sinful and simple folk.

Secondly, it remembers that Jesus, because he was in his very nature God, did not cling to his equality with God, but instead went in all obedience and humility to death - even the most humiliating of deaths. And thus he was glorified (Philippians 2:6-11). 

I wonder if this will ever fully seep in for me; though I sincerely pray that it will. 

The bit where I talk about me

A couple of years ago, I had to leave university for a while because I was ill (I later packed it in altogether). My friends had all given me a lovely send-off, but one, instead, wrote a letter and sent it first class to my home so that the next day, when I woke up, literally hundreds of miles from where I wanted to be, and was feeling thoroughly sorry for myself,  then the post would arrive.

The letter told the story of Isaac Watts - who had to give up his ministry because of ill-health. But his writings and hymns in that time were the lasting parts of his ministry - affecting Dodderidge and thus William Wilberforce. That was what I chose to listen to, walked straight to my desk and got reading and writing (I haven't really stopped since).

But I found the letter again, buried in my bureau, about six months ago and read two sentences that I'd chosen to forget. "I'm not saying that the reason for your illness is that God is going to use you in the same way. Be open to what the Lord may have to teach you and how He may want to prepare you and refine you."

I was not. What I could have learned in that time was lost in a desire to prove myself.

I'm partly writing this because of a chance reading this morning of this in a letter written by John Keats: "Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul"

You can walk into a room and put on a sticker that says 'Chief of Theologians' or claim in your private thoughts to be 'Chief of Preachers' - however deluded these things may or may not be, the substantive point is that they are irrelevant. 

The minister's job is for the 'Chief of Sinners'. 

A Halfling's Call

I can flit between the Boromirs and Faramirs - between self-confidence (achieving) and self-doubt (proving); and I do. It is men, you'll remember, who are most easily seduced by the power of the ring.

But some way down the road, the theology of glory will lead to a sudden, crippling realisation that we 'can't do it'. If you can abide with a second Tolkien video - this will give you shivers - Frodo says he 'can't do this' - Sam says 'I know'... 

We do this because it's good and right; not because we are strong and good. Because we cling to goodness. 

I read a book recently that another friend had sent me (- I think with the sole purpose of kicking my backside). It mentioned a man whom I've looked up to for many years:

"In his living room with tea, I once asked Jerram why he hadn't written more books over the years... I told him how so many of us longed to hear more from him and want to learn more. Pausing and shrugging his shoulders, he smiled broadly... What he said put ministry ambition and the doctrine of creation into perspective. "I'd like to write more," he said, "but I really enjoy my garden.""

(Buy the book)

Whether to be Samwise the gardener, a bloke on the rigs, a barista or barrister, or, for some, to become ministers straight away in life,  we will none of us be in a position for ministry while we are men. It's a Halfling's call. 

Slavery, Poverty, and the Bible's hidden code to get rich.

This is a broad-sweeping post. I will write more in the future on all of these things. I just want to create a platform first: looking at the voices of those who cry against their pain and shame, the voices of those who say it doesn't matter, and the voice of Jesus, who identifies with one of these to the extent that he says he is them.

There is a joy that our generation experiences that our parents and grandparents never knew. A flutter of the heart, an affirmation of identity:

Taking the buzzfeed quiz... and being told your personality is the same as that most admirable of fictional characters.

I have amassed a collective heroic identity of Gandalf, Sherlock, Chandler, Ned Stark and many others. 

I know what you're thinking - how could such a wise, smart, witty and downright good man even exist? What can I say? (I missed out that I've also been ascribed the race of orc and been sorted into Hufflepuff)

Slavery

Anyway, welcome to my '12 years a slave' quiz:

Congratulations. You are Benedict Cumberbatch.

(So was I. Yay!)

If you haven't seen it (do!) then let me explain. Cumberbatch is a pretty good chap. He buys a violin for his slave, treats him with some dignity, clearly hates a lot of aspects of slavery (except the product of his industry), and tries to protect his slave from violence...

...At least, he tries to protect him from violence on his own land. I'm trying to use as few spoilers as possible. Benedict's character is faced with a situation where his hired hand wants to kill a slave. He 'protects' the slave - not by giving him freedom - but by selling him to someone who he admits he knows is a hard and wicked master.

But the suffering will be out of sight. Benedict's conscience is suitably protected.

Perhaps you know now where I'm going. I'm sorry I tricked you - I lured you in with the promise that you're like the most devilishly handsome, deep-voiced, dreamy Englishman ever to walk the earth. 

What I'm suggesting is that we've come a long way since we thought slaves working the land was a fine sight. In fact, we hate the sight of it. Eugh! No, no. We've moved our slavery far away from us. To other countries, where we don't feel the jabs of conscience, only the comfy tread of slave-made trainers, the creamy taste of poverty-picked coffee. I am not judging you. We are all trapped in this - we don't know which companies use slave/crimilly low-waged labour - because it's not their priority to reveal these things - it's up to us consumers to create a situation where they can't afford not to let us know that they pay their workers. 

Just like we've created a market where companies will proudly declare their food 'organic' and know that we'll pay more and buy more of it. Eggs are 'free-range' and jumpers are '100% cashmere'. 

Maybe we could create a market where they'll sell more if they 'didn't abuse humans and increase the suffering of the desperate'. Not a catchy label, but you'd almost hope it goes without saying - I mean, we were indignant when we found out we'd been eating horse! Surely knowing that people aren't abused in the process of getting our stuff, is more important even than knowing if our food says 'moo' or 'neigh'?

I could finish off the post and drum it in. But I don't think it necessary and I can't tell you anything else. I can tell you that at the end of this slavery survey,  you will be hyperbolically told how many slaves personally work for you (which they demonstrably don't), but you will also see just how pervasive the problem is. And it will show you which companies to petition. That's the stage we're at - we can't just end it - we need to transform this entire, hellish market.

Poverty

That seems heavy enough, but I want to talk more broadly about poverty.

It has become fashionable for the ostensibly conservative Christians to pretend that we are not called to care about such things. There is no mandate for social justice, we are told. The world will one day burn, and all that will be left is the saved - those who know Christ. Therefore all that matters is evangelism? We care not for the temporary suffering of those destined for eternal suffering. Is that not simply white-washing a tomb - putting a sticky plaster on an open wound? The thing we need to do is make sure we 'get heaven'. 

There are many, many problems with that. I shall write more on it in the future.

For now, we shall say simply that it is surely the devil's jackpot if we both ignore suffering and decide that what we want is heaven, not Jesus. We become the Pelagians, but without the good deeds.

Because if we love Jesus (as opposed to 'paradise'), then we shall clothe and feed the naked and hungry. It's really entirely that simple. We long for Christ, not 'heaven'. This is the gospel - that we are no longer slaves, but sons of God. Not slaves to sin, but children who copy their father.

It's Islam that promises heaven: 72 virgins (or white raisins, depending on your translation), but Allah is nowhere to be seen. The glory of eternity is the presence of the Christ that we love. And the Christ that we love says that to ignore the poor is to ignore him (Matthew 25).

The 'code'

You will notice that I'm zooming out: slavery, to poverty, to the general call to compassion and holiness. 

The problem is that poverty is now invisible. Even 'visible' poverty (I live in Edinburgh - there is a LOT of it) is invisible to us, because we are inoculated against it: The other day I was walking back from work, at 10pm on a Friday. It was freezing. There was a group of girls ready to go out, queuing to get into a club. One of them had such cold hands that she put one on the back of another's neck and she squealed and giggled at the shock. Directly beneath them - there was perhaps a foot of distance between them - sat a beggar, huddled against the same biting frost.

The cold was but a gimmick. Poverty was a gimmick. There was an invisible man next to them. 

More on all of that at a later date. For now, I must make clear that this is not a judgemental post - I have walked past coatless, gloveless and hungry people enough times as to utterly shame me. But I also don't want to forget to give you the Biblical code for riches before I finish!!

"Give all you have. Your reward is in heaven."