This is my first post in six months, so I thought I'd ease back in with a seasonal story.
This isn't a guest post by Ebenezer Scrooge (quite the opposite, if you read on). These objections are (just barely) my own. The ones I'm more likely to hear from others are along the lines of 'look how we've lost the true meaning of Christmas - it's all Santa and presents now.' Of course, this is mandatorily said in an ironic tone because it's such a cliche by now, but people don't mean it any the less.
One I heard (genuinely!) the other day was "So, do you think it's a coincidence that 'Santa' is a perfect anagram (is there such a thing as an imperfect anagram?) for 'Satan'?"
(The answer to that question, if you're wondering, is "Yes, yes I do think it's a coincidence - largely because J.K. Rowling didn't author reality - you need more than an etymology dictionary, GCSE latin and a proclivity to crosswording on Sundays in order to work out who real-life goodies and baddies are.")
I digress.
Santa knows more about the true meaning of Christmas than you do
If you're over the age of eight, you may want to stop reading - I don't want to spoil anything for you.
Santa Claus is real.
Of course, you know this - 'St. Nicholas' is the answer to one of the easy warm-up questions to the office 'pub-quiz' painstakingly put together by the most irritatingly keen person who works on the desk opposite you. But, of course, your annual reminder of dear St Nick is soon left in the dust as you are rightly distracted by being forced to contest being unfairly deducted points for saying 'kings' instead of 'wise men'... So it's probably fair to assume that you've never really dwelt on who he is.
You know, at least, that he's a saint - but this hardly narrows a chap down - the word 'saint' covers all manner of... people. He could be anyone from a 12yr-old French King or an Apostle to a man who lived his whole life on top of a pole or an Anglo-Roman soldier who rescued princesses from dragons. (If you can name all four, then I suppose you must actually be the insufferable pub-quiz guy...and I apologise.)
As you start to think about it, you could probably make an educated guess from the basic legend of Father Christmas that St Nick was a generous sort of chap, who jollily doled out presents to the poor and had a peculiar penchant for brandy - like a kind of tipsy combination of Robin Hood and Alan Carr.
We can get back to all that though - the best introduction to St Nicholas is at the theological council that met in Nicaea in the year 325.
I just write stuff like that to sort the wheat from the chaff, so kudos for staying with me - St. Nicholas, or Santa, as we shall now call him, sat through this council (presumably in full red velvet and bobbled regalia) while a man named Arius stood up and began to tell everyone that Jesus was not fully God - he described Jesus as being the first creation of the Father, but of completely different 'substance'. Alarmingly, the majority of those present seemed willing to go along with this. This may sound dull, but this council would determine what the churches across the globe would be teaching for centuries to come (did God come down to man, or did God send someone whom he made?).
Of course, poor Arius couldn't have known who was in the audience: Jesus's deity is crucial to the message of the incarnation, which is what we celebrate at Christmas...and that's kind of Santa's jam.
Well, as you may well imagine, Father Christmas was enraged by this (this is all true). He leapt up and smacked Arius in the face (we've been left with a charming mural of the event):
Santa was dragged off to spend a night in the cells, while Arius held the chamber. Yet, by morning, Emperor Constantine was compelled to have him released and re-present him to the council. Santa walked back in and presented the truth about Jesus. They were persuaded and Arius evicted (huzzah!).
(I should add, at this point that even though this story is true, that's not why St. Nicholas became Santa... but nonetheless, it's pretty cool that he actually did save Christmas...)
Proportional response
"He's one of us, then!", you cry - he's a doctrine basher who's been mythologised by consumerism!
Actually no - St. Nick did, we concede, spend some time behind bars for punching a heretic in the face...but let's apply proportion to two points:
i) This is the fourth century - any dealing with a heretic that didn't involve kindling was pretty tame...
ii) He only did it once.
I know that sounds like a toddlers excuse, but what I mean is that for the rest of his life (both
before and after this), he was known for backing up his teaching with outrageous generosity and
love, rather than a closed fist.
So, if we are to mimic him at this time of year (and we should - because he knows how to Christmas - he literally IS Santa), then we should imitate those proportions.
The seriousish bit
What, then, do we say the true meaning of Christmas is? Christ the Lord made himself utterly vulnerable, and, in complete humility, came to bring hope to the hopeless (us).
D.T. Niles once wrote, in order to combat the assumption that Christians were militaristic doctrine bashers who wanted to foist their beliefs on people, that evangelism is nothing more than 'a beggar telling another beggar where to get free bread'.
So, here is my Christmas message: if you do find a dangerous heretic waxing lyrical at an historic church council this Christmas, by all means sort him out.
What's probably more likely, however, is that you come across beggars, both metaphorical and otherwise. What should be an implicit challenge here is for you not to know anyone who is lonely or hungry this Christmas (I know you have space at your table.)
But how about you try not to know anyone who doesn't know the truth about Christmas either?
The world is hungry: religion marches through it armed to the teeth; no one trusts those in power; and so we claw over one another like scavengers, trying to get that promotion, or research grant or whatever more basic necessity.
So, my corny Christmas suggestion is that we give people some good news - the humble God-King, borne and born in humility, come to give himself for us, that we might have rest... it'll do for a start.
It's not wrong to give and take presents. And Santa is a hero. (More good news!)
Merry Christmas.
For unto us a child is born,
Unto us a son is given,
And the government shall be upon his shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace
